Dangerous Brain Eating Zombie Virus Spreading Rapidly Among Self Appointed Orthodox Jewish Spokespeople

The following is meant as satire  
I used to wonder why the government conducted emergency simulations for a Zombie Apocalypse. I thought it was some kind of a joke or just a creative way of making an otherwise boring emergency practice simulation more interesting for the participants. Conspiracy theorists have long put forth the notion that various governments have bioweaponry that could actually turn people into brain eating Zombies. We have all read the accounts of how people have gone berserk after abusing illicit drugs and started attacking people and eating their faces. However I never gave credence to it and just thought it was a slightly amusing concept that was good for producing profitable science fiction movies.
After watching the Gestetner interview on Fake News Pix 11 about the Rockland Measles outbreak I have changed my mind. It has become obvious that the various self appointed unelected spokespeople who are appearing in the media and representing the Orthodox Jewish community have all been infected with some kind of B.E.V. -  Brain Eating Virus that turns their brains to mush and turns them into Zombies. It may be that Gestetner caught it from L'via Weisnger and Blima Marcus. One common symptom that can be used to identify the disease is an affiliation with a multi lettered "non profit" organization.
So for Gestetner it is OJPAC - Orthodox Jewish Public Affairs Council. For Lviah Weisinger and Blima Marcus it is OJNA - Orthodox Jewish Nurses Association. another one is  JOWMA - the Jewish Orthodox Womens Medical Association which seems to have had a major outbreak among it's members Shari Hirsch, MD Miriam Lieberman, MD Sherrie Neustein (Orzel), MD, FAAP And the Jewish Orthodox Women’s Medical Association board of directors:Eliana Fine (Feld), MD candidate Miriam A. Knoll, MD, DABR Bat-Sheva Maslow, MD, FACOG, MSCTR Mira Hellmann-Ostrov, MD, FACOG Sherrie Neustein (Orzel), MD, FAAP Chana Weinstock Neuberger, MD
Reports are that scientists in the Masbia Soup Kitchen laboratories are valiantly racing against time trying to develop a vaccine for this disease. Apparently The Rapaport corporation led by Yosef and Alaxander Rapaport was able to secure grant funding for the critical medical research from a consortium of nonprofits led by Rabbi David Neiderman of UJO in conjunction with the "Non Profit" NGOs ODA, Refuah,Chemed,and Ezra Medical/Yeled Veyalda.
The CDC is working tirelessly to track the spread of this Brain Eating Zombie making disease and is doing everything it can to contain it and justify it's bloated spending budget. Top Scientists at the CDC are saying that it may not be a new disease like Autism but rather we are just getting better at diagnosing it. It may also be some kind of genetic epidemic which can be treated with neonatal testing and pregnancy termination. Fortunately our  great, and fearless leaders have made this treatment and health care option more accessible to all Americans thanks to Obama Care and Governor Cuomo.
Good luck in 2020, Andrew. Sleep tight and don't let the Zombies bite. 
  

  

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